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Holy, Oozing Pustules, Batman!
Feb. 4th, 2005 11:34 pmI got back from the doctor this afternoon. Ana didn't punch me in the eye and cheek, and I didn't have an allergic reaction to some facial cleanser as I thought. I should have put the headaches and aching joints together, I should have realized the swelling and blistering of one half of my face wasn't a good sign. I didn't realize how bad it would be, though.
I have shingles.
My doctor warned that if it gets serious, I could potentially lose part of my vision in my left eye because the virus is inhabiting the area around my optic nerves. He said it was very promising that I caught it so soon and I am now on Valtrex and other various anti-viral/herpes medications (I asked him about that and he explained that chicken pox and shingles are in the same family as herpes--lovely). I am contagious if someone comes into contact with one of the blisters before it has dried out and gets the virus near or in a mucous membrane. The medication should shorten the duration of the symptoms from 3-4 weeks to about 7-10 days. He is not absolutely certain that this is what I have, but we will have test results on Monday to determine whether I also need steroids to help combat it. While the tenderness should subside soon after the blisters heal, in worse case scenarios, the sore spots along my cheek and jaw could potentially continue to cause me suffering for a few years.
I do not understand why it seems to be my fate to hop from one illness to another, neither can I comprehend why with such a healthy change in diet and frequent walks everywhere, I continue to gain weight steadily, and my legs are plagued with loose knees and riddled with shin splints. Every attempt I make to correct this seems only to make it worse. I am doing my best to keep in good spirits, but I am in pain and everything--literally everything--aches. Though I cannot pass this virus on by simply sharing space with someone, I am highly embarrassed to be seen. My face has what appear to be many blemishes filled with foul liquid, the left half of it is red, swollen, drooping, and hideous. I've barely cried at all today, but I feel as though I could fall at any moment into sobbing. I despair that I will continue to slide into a grotesque state of being, live in a monstrous form, and feel forever out of place in this shell that I must endure for however long I may live. But with so much pain and illness at so young an age, I wonder if I'll be ancient at 40.
The later it gets, the harder it is for me to breathe. It takes too much strength, and my lungs were strained when I carried Ana to bed. I hate feeling weak, and yet I'm trying to be strong so Ana does not worry. I warned her I may be ill and unable to do as much for the next week, and also cautioned her not to kiss my face or mouth until the sores have drained and dried. We can hug, but I have to be extra careful when we embrace not to touch my sick skin to her beautiful flesh, and to continuously wash my hands after touching my face. My eyes are dry and I can't do anything to fix it. I'm afraid of rubbing them--he warned I could further spread the virus into my eyes if I'm not careful. They will be checking me again on Monday.
Oh yes. He asked if I wanted pain killers, and as usual, I shrugged and said I am not likely to take them. He prescribed some for me anyway, and when I asked him what he prescribed, my eyes widened--tylenol codeine 3. I thought he'd just give me some alleve or tylenol and leave it at that. I rarely take pain killers, even for a headache or bad pains during a flu. Hell, I stopped taking demerol right after the surgery to remove my gall bladder just so I could breast feed. I grew up with a mother who always had a drawer of pills, so I go in the opposite direction. I try to find solutions without medication whenever I can, and my body is usually happier without the extra side effects--it doesn't like chemicals.
The Valtrex contraindications include dizziness, vomiting, and headaches, just to name a few. The serious signs that I should stop include jaundice, paling skin, bloody vomit, etc. Just ... lovely. Someone buy me a Phantom of the Opera mask so I can go see![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
cryfordawn's Mardi Gras burlesque show.
Shaking, on the verge of tears, everything aches, and there's no one willing to touch me to massage away the knots in my shoulders. Not that I would want anyone to see me in the first place. Did I mention that to get a proper sample to examine, he poked my nose with a syringe? A nurse had to hold my hand to keep me from jerking away and running screaming out the door, forgetting my four year old in the receptionist's chair. It didn't hurt, but I spent the time alone in the room hyperventilating and shivering with panic afterward.
My doctor warned that if it gets serious, I could potentially lose part of my vision in my left eye because the virus is inhabiting the area around my optic nerves. He said it was very promising that I caught it so soon and I am now on Valtrex and other various anti-viral/herpes medications (I asked him about that and he explained that chicken pox and shingles are in the same family as herpes--lovely). I am contagious if someone comes into contact with one of the blisters before it has dried out and gets the virus near or in a mucous membrane. The medication should shorten the duration of the symptoms from 3-4 weeks to about 7-10 days. He is not absolutely certain that this is what I have, but we will have test results on Monday to determine whether I also need steroids to help combat it. While the tenderness should subside soon after the blisters heal, in worse case scenarios, the sore spots along my cheek and jaw could potentially continue to cause me suffering for a few years.
I do not understand why it seems to be my fate to hop from one illness to another, neither can I comprehend why with such a healthy change in diet and frequent walks everywhere, I continue to gain weight steadily, and my legs are plagued with loose knees and riddled with shin splints. Every attempt I make to correct this seems only to make it worse. I am doing my best to keep in good spirits, but I am in pain and everything--literally everything--aches. Though I cannot pass this virus on by simply sharing space with someone, I am highly embarrassed to be seen. My face has what appear to be many blemishes filled with foul liquid, the left half of it is red, swollen, drooping, and hideous. I've barely cried at all today, but I feel as though I could fall at any moment into sobbing. I despair that I will continue to slide into a grotesque state of being, live in a monstrous form, and feel forever out of place in this shell that I must endure for however long I may live. But with so much pain and illness at so young an age, I wonder if I'll be ancient at 40.
The later it gets, the harder it is for me to breathe. It takes too much strength, and my lungs were strained when I carried Ana to bed. I hate feeling weak, and yet I'm trying to be strong so Ana does not worry. I warned her I may be ill and unable to do as much for the next week, and also cautioned her not to kiss my face or mouth until the sores have drained and dried. We can hug, but I have to be extra careful when we embrace not to touch my sick skin to her beautiful flesh, and to continuously wash my hands after touching my face. My eyes are dry and I can't do anything to fix it. I'm afraid of rubbing them--he warned I could further spread the virus into my eyes if I'm not careful. They will be checking me again on Monday.
Oh yes. He asked if I wanted pain killers, and as usual, I shrugged and said I am not likely to take them. He prescribed some for me anyway, and when I asked him what he prescribed, my eyes widened--tylenol codeine 3. I thought he'd just give me some alleve or tylenol and leave it at that. I rarely take pain killers, even for a headache or bad pains during a flu. Hell, I stopped taking demerol right after the surgery to remove my gall bladder just so I could breast feed. I grew up with a mother who always had a drawer of pills, so I go in the opposite direction. I try to find solutions without medication whenever I can, and my body is usually happier without the extra side effects--it doesn't like chemicals.
The Valtrex contraindications include dizziness, vomiting, and headaches, just to name a few. The serious signs that I should stop include jaundice, paling skin, bloody vomit, etc. Just ... lovely. Someone buy me a Phantom of the Opera mask so I can go see
cryfordawn's Mardi Gras burlesque show.Shaking, on the verge of tears, everything aches, and there's no one willing to touch me to massage away the knots in my shoulders. Not that I would want anyone to see me in the first place. Did I mention that to get a proper sample to examine, he poked my nose with a syringe? A nurse had to hold my hand to keep me from jerking away and running screaming out the door, forgetting my four year old in the receptionist's chair. It didn't hurt, but I spent the time alone in the room hyperventilating and shivering with panic afterward.
