Public Service Announcement
Jun. 1st, 2005 01:47 amKids, when you're thinking of a future career, I urge you: do not be a writer. The writer's path is one of pain, misery, and financial ruin. Writing professionally can lead to alcoholism, addiction, suicidal tendencies, and even elaborate schemes of procrastination. You will be seen as worthless to the majority of the world and hounded by your inner critic who will continuously cripple your ego and self-esteem. Could you live a life in which you second-guessed every word you wrote? Paradoxically, it can also prompt a person to greater heights of arrogance and superiority; delusions of grandeur brought on by the imaginary worlds in which a writer lives become a writer's shield against wholesome social interaction. Isolation and a sense of inequality between oneself and the outside world may prevail. It's damaging to one's social life to constantly correct everyone else about their grammar or their views on Tolstoy. Writing is truly a psychological disease: writers often hear voices like schizophrenics and may find themselves driven to unhealthy habits in order to rid themselves of these phantom thoughts. An infamous example is the "3a.m. Purge" in which a writer, having been unable to sleep due to the "voices" of their "characters," must scribble out nonsense on tiny post-its by their bed until the mental chaos shuts down. Sadly, I suffer from this profession, and I have seen its effects on myself and others like me. Truly, the Purge is like exorcising demons. I might be better served by keeping a basin of holy water on my bedside table and shouting, "the power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you!" than I am using a mere pad and pen. The worst part of the affliction is that once you begin on the path it, like the Dark Side in Star Wars, will forever consume your thoughts and insist you continue the rituals that first began it. Though some might charmingly refer to this as inspiration, it is becoming more obvious to those that have observed writers that once begun, the path is nearly impossible to leave. Thus, I remind you, writing is not the career you are seeking--for most who call it their profession it does not even afford them the funds that other careers might have. Should you choose it, you would be condemning yourself to a life of self-doubt, insanity, and that well-known muse-addicted withdrawal known as writer's block. Be kind to yourself and your loved ones and choose something less devastating--be a doctor, a teacher, or maybe something calm like a shipping clerk.