(no subject)

Soy milk is a suitable breakfast for a grown woman, right? Because I don't think I'll be digesting well this week, and it seems better to stay on the safe side. Besides, I doubt I could eat for a while after watching Ana get sick all over the dining room. *sighs* Poor, poor. She was so sweet, by the time I got everything cleaned up, I found her in the bathroom washing out the tub I gave her. *sniffles* My sweet little one.

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Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire Promotional Stills

Via talamh_sidhe:

Things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts: 39. Asking "How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?" and walking away is only funny the first time.
49. If Ginny Weasley wanted to borrow my Darkover books, she would have said so already.

Appendix A: I will not draw an H on Percy Weasley's forehead.
Albus Dumbledore is not my personal Jesus.

Appendix B: Regardless of the beautiful irony, I will not hang a tempting piñata from the Whomping Willow.
Adding the name "Bueller" to Professor Binns' roster is not funny.
I will not get the stands to chant "Badger, badger, badger..." during a Slytherin-Hufflepuff quidditch match.
I am not allowed to ask Pureblood students things like, "If your parents got divorced, would they still be brother and sister?"

Appendix C: 36. The ducks are not my minions, no matter how much bread I feed them.
37. Same goes for the squirrels.

Appendix D: While Dumbledore is a brilliant man, he does not see why kids love the sweet cinnamon taste in Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
The boggart's first name is not Humphrey.
Hogwarts is not part of London Below.

Appendix E: 4) I cannot charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas feast.
-I cannot charm the suits of armor to skip with me around the castle, clacking coconut halves together.
95) I am not allowed to play 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea with the giant squid anymore.

Appendix F: Despite the fact that it takes place in a dungeon, I may not safeword out of Potions class.
I may not purchase a wand from Good Vibrations.

Appendix G

Appendix H: Forming a LGBT support group on campus is permissible. Claiming that it was founded in 1945 by Tom Riddle is not.

Appendix I

Appendix J: Replying every question that Professor Lupin asks with, "Are you fucking Sirius?" is not funny, not even the first time.
- Except when he answers, "Yes" before catching on.
- Bonus points if he blushes.
I am not allowed to switch the Hogwarts Express with the Magic School Bus.

Appendix K: Even though Voldemort does give his followers rings, he is not Captain Planet and none of the Death Eaters have powers in "wind, water, earth, fire, heart!".

Appendix L: "Crucio" is not a good safeword.