Duct Tape and Child Rearing

[neversremedy8]

I commented in this entry at metaquotes about the uses of duct tape and keeping babies' hats on their heads. [Please read entry first.] I just had to comment, being an experienced duct taping parent:

Duct tape comes in quite handy when rearing children. First, it's to keep things on them (i.e. hats, shoes, socks, diapers) or them on other things (i.e. high chair, car seat), then you use it to bind their hands to keep them off of things (i.e. any crystal figurines, star wars action figures in pristine condition, or anything that's breakable or easily destroyed by drool, depending on your fandom base). Finally, you end up just using it all over them, most especially their mouths, once they learn to run about and tell people about their genitalia and gas, everything they just learned from their friends or the television, and your private life with the new "daddy" who comes over for dates. This is also why it's good to have a membership at Costco; they sell duct tape in large quantities at wholesale prices. If you have duct tape left over, you can repair your $350 replica of the Millennium Falcon with tiny pieces and a lot of crying.

So I've heard.

In other news, I had a nightmare that I was thought to be a cop killer, when really all I'd done was steal candy with a bunch of co-workers in protest to our lack of holiday bonuses. The real killers got away, and I was pregnant. Jodawi and Mittel were raising Ana, and I was pregnant with another child, who also became their ward. Ended up making sure another child at Ana's school got safely back to her parents, but was followed by a vigilante cop who wanted to see justice done at his hands. Woke up before resolution, quite convinced I need to make an announcement to my dearest friends on here, which I will do after this post. *sighs, shudders*

I'm also either INFJ (most likely), INFP (more true now than before), or (on good days) ENFP. The links lead to the relationship page, not the overview, because it was easier for me to recognize myself in terms of parenting and lovers and such than it was to read about my daily life. Jen and I have just determined that there should be an index in the backs of these Jungian personality tests that include an entry entitled "writer." It would read: "If you are a writer, then none of this, or rather all of this, may apply to you. Or not. You're not normal. You don't fit in these categories, and you never will, so stop asking. Or go get a real job, you liberal git."

I am the son
And the heir
Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar
I am the son and heir
Oh, of nothing in particular

You shut your mouth
How can you say
I go about things the wrong way ?
I am Human and I need to be loved
Just like everybody else does

There's a club, if you'd like to go
You could meet somebody who really loves you
So you go, and you stand on your own
And you leave on your own
And you go home, and you cry
And you want to die

When you say it's gonna happen "now"
Well, when exactly do you mean ?
See I've already waited too long
And all my hope is gone

You shut your mouth
How can you say
I go about things the wrong way ?
I am Human and I need to be loved
Just like everybody else does