Never's Remedy

• Six fire trucks and a host of aid cars and medical vans racing down 15th past 42nd; students wait through two light cycles as the red parade rolls by.


• Army of news helicopters circle above the heads of milling students; few faces turn up in curiosity.


• Screeching seagulls wheeling into the sky, away from the scene of the crime.

What's it all about? The only report thus far comes from emergency.washington.edu, which merely states:

Hazardous substance spill reported at Hall Health
Posted at 12:57 pm on Monday, May 11, 2009

A hazardous spill has been reported at Hall Health. Emergency crews are responding. The campus community is asked to avoid the area.*

It's 2:39pm. The emergency vehicles came by just fifteen minutes ago, but this issue was known about over an hour and a half ago. Where are the reports of what's really going on?

NOTE: emergency.washington.edu also says about this issue: "Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time."

UPDATE (2:50pm): Just updated the local page on KOMO News and found this brief report, which doesn't coincide with the fact that the UW Emergency page included a notice at 12:57pm. I'm telling you, someone's trying to bullshit me, and I'm keen to their deception. Feel free to post your own speculatoins. Illuminati? Aliens? Neo-Republicans? Secret government cover-ups? Did Air Force One forget to let Seattle firefighters and police know about the photo-op over the UW? You decide!